


The Gods Of Los Santos

by Kellisina



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Immortal FAHC, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-11-30 19:47:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11470455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kellisina/pseuds/Kellisina
Summary: (Immortal FAHC) Based on Greek Mythology. The Gods have gotten bored of their dull attempts to fit in with society. It's time to cause some chaos instead.





	1. Prologue

The were gods back in the day. Honoured and revered by thousands.

But times had changed. The old gods were forgotten and had drifted away into obscurity. 

They lived by themselves mostly. Made new names and lived ordinary lives with ordinary jobs. 

But that wasn’t enough for Geoff. The patriarch of the gods has grown bored with normal life. He was sick of hiding away in the shadows. 

He spent months trying to figure out the best use of his powers. He could try to become a god again, but he suspected that he would quickly become bored of that. He could use his powers for good. Become a superhero, like Superman. But in the end, Geoff decided that he was sick of being good. He wanted to try something a little bit more chaotic. 

When he made his mind up, he started by calling his second in command. 

“Zeus?” Jack’s voice was filled with surprise. It had been years since she had heard from him. 

“It’s Geoff now, actually.” He explained. “Can you gather everyone to Los Santos?” He smiled devilishly. “I have a great idea.”


	2. Ares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Guns

The first god that Jack located was Ares, the bloodthirsty god of war. 

Ares seemed to have found his new calling in life, supplying weapons to hunters and hill-billy's. His store was stocked full of over the top weaponry and he often sold to his customers without waiting to see if they had the correct licenses.

He was bitter about the humans forgetting him, and was happy to supply the means for humans to tear each other apart. Jack figured that he would be perfect for what Geoff had in mind. 

Jack took a deep breath before walking into the gun store.

Ares only briefly looked up from the counter. “Hey, what can I get fo-” His expression fell. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I have a business proposal.” Jack explained, walking towards the counter. 

“I’ve got no business with you fucks.”

“Ares-”

“It’s Michael now.” He corrected with a sneer. 

“Michael.” Jack nodded. “Zeus has a plan. He wants to form a criminal crew in Los Santos.” 

“Why the hell does he want that?” 

“Who knows.” Jack shrugged. “You know what he’s like. 80% impulse and 20 % fucking anything that moves.” She added bitterly. “It might be a good idea. It’ll get us all back together again.... Plus you can use all these guns you’ve collected.” 

“On humans?”

“Police mostly by the sounds of things. But sure.”

“Then I guess I can spare you some time.” Michael sighed. “But if it sucks them I’m leaving.”

“Of course. It’s nothing binding. Just a trial run.”

“Who else have you got?” Michael questioned.

“Just you so far.”

“Yeah? Who’s next on your list?”

“If I can find them, Artemis and Apollo.”

Michael laughed. “Good luck with that.”


	3. Apollo and Artemis

Finding the twins was difficult. But Jack had been anticipating that. Their hunting skills were unparalleled, so they knew how to hide themselves.

Jack eventually found them living in LA. Apparently the Golden Boy Apollo had made quite the spectacle of himself, which wasn’t particularly surprising, Jack had to admit. Most reports online simply referred to him as a street magician whos’ magic often involves forming light. Apparently the crowd favourite was him making his skin sparkle in the sun. 

When Jack landed, he headed straight to the beach, asking around to see if anyone had heard of the magician. Apparently, despite apparently being in hiding, the locals were quite familiar with Apollo. They referred to him as Gavin and one woman could even give Jack to address of Apollo’s apartment. Jack smiled in gratitude and quickly headed off to the address. 

Jack took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Finding the door already unlock, she tentatively pushed it open. She was greeted by an arrow inches from her face.

“You...?” The woman holding the bow arched an eyebrow quizzically.

“Hello Artemis.” Jack flashed her a friendly smile. “It’s me, I go by Jack now. Yourself?”

“Mica.” She replied bluntly as she lowered her weapon. “I almost shot your eye out.”

“Sorry about that. I’m on a mission from Zeus.”

“Sounds fun.” Mica replied sarcastically. “Love the new form.”

“Thanks.” Jack beamed, spinning around so Mica could see everything. Most of the gods had the ability to change their appearance, but settled on one main form so that they were easily recognisable, especially by the humans who could be easily confused. Jack’s previous form had been male, but a few years ago she had switched. Much preferring her new red-headed figure.”Is Apollo around?”

“Hey Gavin.” Mica yelled, tossing her bow onto the counter. “Company.”

“Who is it?” Gavin yelled from another room.

“Come and find out for yourself.” Mica rolled her eyes.

Gavin appeared in the doorway, curious to find out who Mica had let into the apartment. The suspicious huntress never let visitors into their home before. “Oh...hey!” He smiled brightly. “It’s good to see ya”

“You too. Zeus sent me.”

“What does he want...?” Gavin asked nervously.

“We’re doing an... experiment I guess. Forming a group of the old gods to wreak chaos.”

“Why would Zeus want that?” Mica asked, baffled by the concept.

“Human life has changed us all. He doesn’t care for the mortals anymore. He just wants to have fun.”

“I don’t know....” Gavin furrowed his brow.

“Ares has already said yes.” Jack pointed out.

“I’m in.” Gavin gasped.

Mica chuckled at how easily swayed her brother was. “I’m not interested. But I may visit you from time to time.”

“You don’t mind me going without you...?” Gavin asked, scared of the answer.

Mica chuckled. “Go. Have some fun. I’m sure I can find some lovely ladies to keep me company.” She winked.

“I’ll go pack a bag!” Gavin raced off into the apartment to prepare.

“You have many people so far?” Mica questioned.

“Just me, Zeus, Ares and Apollo. Well... me, Geoff, Michael and Gavin.” Jack corrected herself with a small chuckle. “I’m off to the Underworld next.”

“You think you’re going to get Hades to leave his domain?” Mica asked, laughing under her breath. “Good luck with that.”

“I think he can be persuaded.” Jack smiled as Gavin appeared at his side. “See you around Mica.”

Gavin hugged his sister. “Come visit me okay?”

“I promise.” Mica nodded, watching as Jack disappeared with her twin brother, leaving her alone for he first time in years.


	4. Hades

Jack knew that Hades would be the hardest to find.

Unlike the other Gods, who had lost Olympus years ago, Hades still had access to his Godly realm. And would spend most of his time in the Underworld with Persephone. 

Jack had heard rumours about the entrances to the Underworld and eventually found one hidden in Athens. She braced herself as she stepped onto Charons boat, passing the ferryman twenty dollars to take her to Hades. He looked unimpressed with the new currency but took her regardless, knowing better than to argue with the gods. 

“Don’t touch the water.” He warned as they docked. “Even the slightest touch of the Lethe can erase your memories. So you definitely don’t want to go for a swim.”

“I’ll bare that in mind.” Jack offered him a small smile. “Where can I find Hades?”

“This is Hades.” The ferryman replied cryptically.

A took a moment before Jack remembered that the Underworld was also called Hades. A confusing system. “No. I mean the God. Hades. Where can I find him?”

“I just row the boat.” Charon shrugged. “He’ll probably be in his home.” He gestured vaguely towards a winding tunnel. “You’ll find him eventually.”

“Thanks...” Jack sighed and started her walk. 

The wandering pathways were pitch black, totally bathed in darkness. Jack lifted her hands, smiling warmly as small balls of fire appeared on her palms, lighting her way. 

A low, nearby growl startled Jack. She raised her hands in an attempt to illuminate the source of the noise. The Underworld was home to a myriad of ancient monsters. 

A serene smile crossed her face when she realised what was lumbering towards her. The beast towered over her, its countless fangs bared at the intruder.

But Jack knew this beast.

She knew how to fight it’s savage brutality. 

She opened her arms wide, smiling at the creature. “Who’s a good boy?” She asked enthusiastically.

Cerberus stopped in his tracks. His three heads turned in confusions, ears flopping over with the action. 

“Who’s a good boy?” Jack repeated.

Cerberus bend down to get a better look at Jack, panting happily. It’s many tails waved frantically. 

“Who’s a good boy?” Jack repeated a third time. “You are!” He beamed at the three headed dog.

Cerberus barked happily in response, a melody of excitement.

“That’s impressive.” Said a cold voice from behind him.

Jack whipped around to greet Hades, God of death. 

“Most people run in fear.” Hades elaborated.

“He’s a good boy. Boys? Either way, there’s nothing to fear.” Jack smiled, petting the nearest dog head.

“It’s good to see you again Hades.”

The dark God wrinkled his nose in response. “Let’s just go with Ryan from now on.”

“Great name.”

“Thank you. Ray picked it.” Ryan explained. 

“Ray?”

“Persephone. He’s spent a lot of time up with the humans. He said I needed a more ‘hip’ name to suit the modern world.”

“Oh?” 

Ryan nodded. “He’s true to his word and spends half of his time in the mortal realm. He always returns in Autumn though.”

“That’s actually kind of related to why I’m here. The mortal realm...”

Ryan raised an eyebrow but said nothing. 

“Zeus is getting a group together. So far it’s him, me, Ares and Apollo.”

“And what do you intend to do with this little group?”

“Cause chaos for the humans basically.”

“... Why would you want to do that?” 

“Zeus, Geoff, is bored. Basically.”

“That sounds about right.” Ryan smirked.

“So, are you interested?”

“I suppose I might as well see what he’s up to. The Underworld doesn’t require much effort to run. I have everything automated at this point.” 

“The invitation is open to Per- .. Ray, as well.”

Ryan shook his head. “He doesn’t want anything to do with the other Gods. The only Gods he can stand the presence of is myself and his mother.”

“That’s fair.” Jack nodded understandingly. “Here. I’ll give you the address.” 

“You’re not going there yourself?”

“No, I have one more God to find before I can return home.”


	5. Hermes

Hermes had always been a thief. As a god, it had been one of his many domains. He was also a well known trickster, so Jack had no doubt in her mind that Hermes would be happy to join their little gang. After a bit of help from Artemis (now going by the name Mica), the best tracker to ever live, Jack found that Hermes had actually moved to Los Santos a few months earlier. So Jack happily made her way back to her new hometown to find the trickster god. 

She wasn’t surprised to find that he had taken work as a pilot, delivering high value cargo overseas. He had always loved flying, and delivering messages and gifts had become a regular part of his daily life back on Olympus. It seemed like he had quite comfortably gone back to his roots.

Jack followed him to his plane, subtly climbing into the cockpit with him and sat in the co-pilot seat without a word.

“Jesus Christ!” Hermes jolted when he spotted Jack.

Jack laughed. “You really use that as an exclamative?” 

“I spent a lot of times around the humans. So sue me. What the fuck are you doing here?”

Jack glanced across at Hermes’ ID card. “Jeremy, is it?”

He shrugged. “It’s a more subtle name.”

“It is. I’m Jack now.” She smiled warmly. “Zeus sent me.”

Jeremy groaned. 

“It’s not that bad actually.” She explained, launching into her sales pitch.

“....Sure.” Jeremy quickly agreed.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sounds like fun. Especially if Ares and Apollo are already in. They were always good for a laugh.” Jeremy started his plane, pulling off the runway. “Just point out the direction and I’ll take us there.”

“I mean, we could have just driven.” Jack pointed out. “There’s no runway to the penthouse.”

“I have parachutes.” Jeremy explained, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

Jack laughed. “Alright then.”


	6. Hephaestus

Ryan made a quick pit stop before he reaches Los Santos, the new Olympus. As much as he was eager to see what his brother had planned, he had a plan of his own.

He located a small workshop, throwing open the door open dramatically as he made his entrance.

“I’m not impressed.” The owner of the workshop commented, his eyes not leaving the device in his hands.

“Damn.” Ryan chuckled. “Most people would be just a little bit surprised when the Lord of Death shows up at their doorway.”

“I think we both know I’m not ‘most people’.” Hephaestus glanced up with a small smirk. “I have cameras hidden all over this place. I saw you coming a mile away.”

“Hm.” Ryan nodded. “I’m still not quite up to date with all the modern technology. I don’t surface often.”

“Why are you up here now?” Hephaestus asked curiously. “Fight with Persephone?” 

“No, we’re fine. I’m actually up on earth to spend some time with Zeus and a few other gods.”

“And I didn’t get an invitation? Why am I not surprised.”

“Would you have come if you had been invited?” Ryan asked curiously.

“No.” Hephaestus shrugged.

“What’s you're name now anyway? You don’t still go by Hephaestus, do you?”

He shook his head. “I just use Matt.”

“Well Matt, I have a job for you.” Ryan tossed an ancient helmet towards Matt.

“Is this...?”

“The helm of invisibility.” Ryan nodded in confirmation. “I was you to make a few... renovations.”

“Yeah? Why the change?” 

“I need something a bit more in line with the modern times. This isn’t exactly stylish now.” Ryan laughed. “I was thinking maybe a mask?”

“Say no more. I can handle it.” Matt nodded. “Come back in a week and I’ll have something ready for ya.”

“A week?” Ryan arched an eyebrow.

“I’m turning a metal helmet into a plastic mask, while making sure not to fuck up it’s magical properties. It’s going to take a while.” Matt responded irritably. 

“Okay, okay.” Ryan laughed, heading to the door. “See you then.”


End file.
